Hard stop…Restart…

Sometimes everything just stops.

Like this blog. I haven’t posted here in close to 2 weeks. I could explain I’ve been on a journey, too focused on the details of traveling to divert my attention to writing.

I could explain how I accidentally spilled water on my laptop and killed a whole row of keys on the keyboard — critical letters like, well, all of the vowels (except “a”), q, w, r, t, & y.

Trying to assemble words by cutting & pasting letters from existing documents proved a major challenge and lent itself more to zen-like meditation than writing a full blog entry.

Or I could just tell you my brother, Scott Whitebird, died unexpectedly.

And everything just stopped.
Except making that journey back to Texas for his memorial service.
And breaking my keyboard to keep me more in the moment than in my mind.

Of course, it just felt like everything stopped. Life, as the cliche tells us, goes on. We’re home again and I’ve managed a work-around for using the laptop. I lie down at night to sleep and wake up every day while the world goes on apace, unaware of Scott’s absence and the gaping hole in my heart & soul.

I will be posting more soon. I have many tales to tell of my brother — but not just yet. Please bear with me. This is not easy.

About bullersbackporch

I am a native Austinite, a high-tech Luddite, lover of music, movies and stories and a born trainer-explainer.
This entry was posted in Family, life & death and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Hard stop…Restart…

  1. Suzanne W. Vignaud says:

    I am so sorry for your loss and understand only too well about gaping holes and loving deeply way beyond the confines of our mortal bodies. Take care of your sweet heart. much love sent your way!

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