Make of Me a Moral Lesson

Willy Wonka would be proud.
Some funeral goers will likely be appalled.
Just don’t blame me.
It’s not my fault.
It’s not even my idea.
But it is a great idea.

So, I’m stealing it. Not just to repost the meme itself, but by bringing the idea to life — at the time of my death.

I want my own Oompah-Loompah song performed at whatever “celebration of life” my survivors might host.

Am I serious? As serious as a heart attack — or even death itself. Which, you gotta admit,  is even more serious than a heart attack.

For the uninitiated, the Oompah-Loompahs work at Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory in Roald Dahl’s classic children’s story, which many of us know from the 1971 movie starring Gene Wilder. The wise folks at Wikipedia offer this explanation regarding the Oompan Loompah song:

During the tour, each child’s character flaws cause them to give in to temptation, resulting in their unusual elimination: Augustus gets sucked up a pipe after falling into the chocolate river; Violet bloats into a giant human blueberry; Veruca falls down a garbage chute; and Mike is shrunk to the size of a chocolate bar. The Oompa-Loompas sing a song of morality after each disposal.

Sing along if you know the song!

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you.
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
If you are wise you’ll listen to me.

Some suggested topics for the rendition at my funeral might include:

  • What do you get when you procrastinate?
    Putting off everything until it’s too late…
  • What do you get when you’re always lazy?
    Nothing gets done, making you look crazy…
  • What do you get drinking oceans of beer?
    That likely helped speed your pathway to here…

Get the picture? Good, because it’s going to be up to someone other than me to finish the verse(s) and lead the singing.

Of course, I still want the same exit music I’ve long asked for.

Let’s put the “fun” back into “funeral,” folks!

About bullersbackporch

I am a native Austinite, a high-tech Luddite, lover of music, movies and stories and a born trainer-explainer.
This entry was posted in creativity, death, Fun and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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